Saturday, January 10, 2009

Pathetic Pity Party Post

HELP!

I am embarrassed to post this after my post below about how encouragement comes from within, but this is my blog and a place to dump my feelings. And today I am discouraged. Running has SUCKED this week. I am religious about my work-outs, I have been since right before Thanksgiving. This week has been bad. I am dragging, and it is a mental vs. physical battle each second of each run, and lately mental is winning. I KNOW I can do more than I am, I know I can push myself farther, but I am not. My mind is stopping me. This week I couldn't break through that. I continued to walk on the treadmill after I wanted to get off. But as far as training goes, this week was a waste. I did not improve, I barely maintained. On a positive I continued, I didn't stop. At least I can say that.

I want a partner. I want someone running beside me. To encourage each other along each step of the run. I want someone else there so that when I want to quit I won't. I will keep running because my pride will overtake my mind. I mean I can't stop with someone there watching me!

I become a mother at 18, I have never had me time. Running is a solitary sport. Which why many love it, which is why I wanted to join. I wanted me time, something for me, something I could do alone. And the irony is that now I have that, and am doing that, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT! Alone time? I am lost.

So today, just for today, I ask for encouragement. Tell me you have been there, or are there, tell me it gets better, or tell me it doesn't and all I can do is push through. Tell me something, I feel so alone in this journey!

6 comments:

  1. You can get through this. Plateaus are normal. Running inside on a treadmill is tedious at best and complete torture when you aren't really in the mood to run. When I'm really not enjoying a run, I try to pick a spot and race to it and then walk or jog for a bit. Makes things move along a bit faster. I also do a lot of planning while I'm running - sometimes something as big as trying to figure out what I'm going to do when both kids are in full-time school, sometimes something as little as a grocery list. Just keeping the mind busy makes a huge difference. When I'm on the treadmill, I'm all about playing with speed and incline so I don't get bored.

    You might try checking www.seemommyrun.com to see if there is anyone near you that you could join for runs or walks. I know that this isn't a good time of year to get outside for you, but if you can make it to spring, you could look for someone to join you.

    Hang in there!

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  2. Hi, Kristin. It's me Eric.
    It is going to be hard at first, because your muscles hurt your body aches. You do have to push through it and yes it does get easier and eventually you will feel hooked. Pretty soon you will notice running becomes second nature and you want to go run, not ahhh! I have to run today.

    I here you on running on the treadmill that can get old. I haven't run on a treadmill in years, but I know running outside is not probably not practical where you live. I agree with MCM Mama on trying to think of things to do will you run. It distracts the mind and before you know it your run is over with. Try to think about your trip coming up or how great it will be when you finish with school. It helps to get you out of the counting ever step when you run feeling.

    I would also make sure you have like a set program or schedule for your runs to help keep you on track. It works for me. I look at it and I see oh I need to run 6 miles today or do some speed workout. That's that I don't question it or anything I look at it as something I have to do like going to a class or work.

    If the main problem is boredom when running than all I can say is stick to a goal, keep your mind on something else, (it takes a while to get that state of mind, but it will come), listen to headphones, through a tv in front of you.

    I have faith in you and good luck.

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  3. i hope you got the encouragement you needed. You seriously can do much of anything. I've seen you do it all.

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  4. Thank you all, I REALLY appreciate it. I have decided that I am going to run a few times a week indoors (at the dome I posted about earlier), that will help me get out of the cement basement walls and mix it up a bit, also I know if I stick with it, soon it will be nice enough to get outside. Once I get to run outside I think I will turn a corner, it will become an exciting escape and much mroe enjoyable. I just need to hang in there until then.

    THANK YOU for taking the time to comment!

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  5. just getting here now girl! you can do it! going to a differnt location with out the distraction of your kids sounds like a good idea. I know it's tough to get motivated to get there and do it. (hell I have to get three of us ready just for me to exercise!) You know you're gonna feel awesome once you do it!!

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  6. While it's really not encouragement, I lost track on how many times I wanted to quit when I first started running. I also used every excuse in the book..."My body was not meant to be a runner" "I'll never be any good at this" "Why did I think I could do this?"...and the list goes one. However like everyone told me, one day you body does an almost "aaa-haa" moment and something clicks. Not every run will be pleasant by any means, but YOU CAN SO DO THIS!!!!

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